Snooki + Fashion: How To Solve The Equation

When I first started this blog, I didn’t know which direction it would take. Fashion or music? As it turns out, I’ve been progressively leaning towards the world of synths and keyboards (shame on me!), but I haven’t forgotten about my love for frocks and platforms. No. In fact, I’ve decided to pull a JT and bring sexy back (and by sexy I mean fashion, duh!)

What better way to dive back into the sartorial ocean than by paying homage to someone whose style is a constant source of inspiration? You’ve guessed it, I’m talking about the oh so classy Nicole Polizzi.

You’re probably looking at the collage above wondering where the bedazzled sunglasses, and Ed Hardy masterpieces went. Let me explain. You don’t have to look like Snooki  (thank God) to pay tribute to her fancy self.

Here are some key elements that must be taken into consideration when emulating the pint-sized guidette.

Let’s start off with a black Miu Miu puff-sleeve sweater, or should I say poof-sleeve sweater? See what I did there? 595$ of pure guidette-inspired goodness. The resemblance is uncanny. Wait ’til you see the pants.

What color would you say these are? If you answered the color of Snooki’s skin, then bravo!  You’re one step closer to becoming a living, breathing high-fashion version of Jersey Shore’s finest. If these Vanessa Bruno Tapered crepe pants don’t scream Mystic Tan, then I don’t know what does.

Some may say the pant/sweater combination is somewhat reminiscent of a certain October holiday. I say switch the channel to MTV, and watch Jersey Shore.

Behold – Chloe Sevigny for Opening Ceremony mary-janes a.k.a. the deluxe version of the hooker heel. Due to Snooki’s height, heels are a must. However, you don’t have to pay 400$ to look like a lady of the night, 139$ will suffice.

Capture d’écran 2013-06-12 à 03.32.02

Thank you, Jeffrey Campbell!
Moving on…

I think it’s safe to say that our favorite guidette will never love someone like she loves her white wine, which is why need a giant tote bag. Huh? Why YES, you need space to carry your booze around! Plus, this YSL bag is called the Lucy Chyc tote bag. Chic with a Y… Need I say more?

It wouldn’t be a “Snooki outfit” without a subtle reference to pickles, so BAM! a Jane Taylor Tanzanian green opal ring. Because nothing says ‘pickle’ like gold jewelry and semi-precious stones. And it’s on sale!!! 45% off! $1,292.50 instead of $2,350.00. What a steal!

Finish off the look with a pair of beer goggles Karen Walker sunglasses, perfect to hide last night’s smeared eyeliner!

There you have it: the most ironically minimalist outfit you’ll ever see.

I think I deserve a fist pump.

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3 Responses to Snooki + Fashion: How To Solve The Equation

  1. fred says:

    perfection

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